Life on the Road

This photograph (copyright Shelley RK Glick) is a picture of my kids on an amusement ride during a recent trip to Arizona. They are twin 11 year old girls and the center of my world no matter how many circles I find myself traveling in. I smiled when I saw this picture in the back of my camera, but it was the kind of smile where you don't part your lips, your bottom lip pushes up a bit so that the corners of your mouth go down and a little puff of air seems to blow out of your nostrils. I've also been known to offer a softened and simultaneous sigh on these same occasions. This odd facial manifestation is usually the result of some sort of deep recognition, sometimes arcane and to be dealt with later and sometimes, like this one,whose clear meaning you are all too happy to resist.


I got it. Someday, not so far away, these heifers will indeed be riding off into the sunset and my watery eyes begged the question; Am I ready...well, not so much. Yes, I know the stuff that is meant to pass for relief giving wisdom shared and written in magazines--ie. This ultimate heartbreak is why you parent in the first place; to be able to send them off to fight the good fight, to earn a good living and G-d willing, to do both. And after swallowing that we go on to read about the Empty Nest, The Need to Reinvent Oneself or Fall in Love with Your Partner Again, How They Never, Never Really Leave.....etc. etc. That is, if one makes it through the teen age years intact and is still willing to read anything about the family, mythical or otherwise, ever again.


But what is not talked about often enough and what this picture brings to my mind, heart and soul is the healing and wholeness these crazy making, button pushing, and sometimes Dark Angels offer to bring to us-- time and time again. And if we miss this opportunity to do the personal and spiritual work that enables us to leave ourselves open and and sometimes vulnerable we miss what we knew to be G-d's gift on the day they were born or whatever day it was we might have found each other.


The parenting relationship is surely not the road for everyone. But for me it is and has been a true and appreciated gift. Family life challenges us every day to really deal with present reality. I feel freer, richer and more joyous than I ever was or could dream of being before I had kids-these kids. Most of the hurting and suffering that gets in our way comes from our own individual history, the choice then really simply boils down to either Heal or Hurt, both yourself and those you love. To take on the challenges and enable yourself to heal, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually is the highest obligation of any relationship and particularly that of parenthood. And yes, I like everyone else still blow it and need to drop a nickel in the mythological jar for my own kid's future healing because that too is a simple thing that boils down to that's just life on the road, kiddo.